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第 87 课:Technology Takes Byte Out of Love 科技“无情”

"You can go for weeks and weeks and not even look at your partner. It's very important to make connections everyday with your partner, to not put up walls with each other."

Technology can become an addiction , according to relationship expert David Coleman, the "Dating Doctor." He compares it to having an affair.

"You would say someone is having an affair that used to mean that they are having an affair with another person. That doesn't necessarily mean that anymore. People can have an affair with technology. They can have an affair with their computers, basically being on their computer all the time. You've heard over the years about the responsible use of alcohol, the responsible use of tobacco, I think we're heading toward [needing to talk about] the responsible use of electronics."

People use technology not just to get information, but to communicate. Coleman warns that relying too heavily on e-mails, text messages and instant messages can hurt a personal relationship, because there's no give and take, no chance to see the other person's reaction.

"Let's say that you are in a relationship with someone and there is something that you really need to discuss with that person about that relationship. Before, you would normally do it face to face. Now a lot of people text each other or they send an e-mail. What that does is it lets them get their entire point out, exactly the way they want to say it, without any chance of being interrupted. It's very one sided, until you get the response back from the other person."

However, Coleman says, if used properly, technology can enhance personal relationships. "Let's say that the person you're involved with -- your husband, your wife, a boyfriend or a girlfriend -- you know that they have a very tough day and you don't want to bother them during that day, you can send them a simple text-message that says, 'I'm thinking about you, I love you, hang in there.'"

As Americans celebrate Valentine's Day this week (February 14), Coleman suggests that dedicating more time and undivided attention in person can be the best gift to loved ones, especially in our high-tech world.